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Our friends for over two decades, who has overcome many hardships, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by people. Her partner walked away, and it was a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances drifted away at that point, because they seemed only interested in him. This surprised her deeply. She put in greater energy to be my friend, and must have grasped more acutely what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, quite a few in her circle have disappeared without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been highly competent, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, we've both stepped back from work so we're spending time together, however, I feel my role between us is as the audience. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to what interests her. Politically, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to propose verifying facts and different perspectives.

She is organizing a vacation to a country I've visited on several occasions and resided in for some time. I tried to provide advice, however, my input unappreciated. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her decisions. I've just come back from a month in that place she hopes to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Considering the Choices

I don't want in this role who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly understand the consequences of her actions on how I feel about myself. Currently, I find myself in distancing myself. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to cut and run, yet this is seldom a smooth outcome that we desire. But confrontation aiming for resolution demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing how things go during your discussions. This needs to be as factual as possible and basically an unbiased account. The second involves sharing the way it affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement about this. Your feelings are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to question how you are both can shift the dynamics between you."

Consider that she also holds perspectives, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. A helpful technique is telling to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject everything, since certain individuals cling to a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no easy route here, mere obstacles. Yet she could at first react this way and then think about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, it will give you satisfaction that you've been open and direct.